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MikesThatCouldHaveBeen

The world is a great place, but it could be a lot better if all the Mike’s that originally had been, continued to exist. But sadly, for a plethora of reasons that are both explained and unexplained, there are many Mike’s that have been lost along the way. Here’s a taste of just a few…

Originally in 1927 when the Oscars first came out they were supposed to be called the "Mikes'" but it was so bad ass that too many people complained about it. They claimed it was intimidating so they changed it to "Oscar"....yeah, cool name Academy. Coulda been totally bad ass, instead, you inspired the name of a Muppet grouch who lives in a freakin’ trash can. Think there are any Mike’s living in trashcans? Point made.

Ever see the logo for the NBA? The guy dribbling? Well, everyone knows it’s Jerry West, but what you may not know is that Jerry West is a thief. That move he’s doing is completely un-defendable, and do you know where he got it from? Exactly. This guy named Steve. But do you know where Steve got it from? HIS BROTHER MIKE.

Verizon Wireless guy’s name? Mike. Did you know that? Nope…nobody did. You’re welcome.

Ya know those Dear John letters…the one’s you write when you want to break up with someone. Well, obviously, the first break up in recorded history was done by a Mike, because I mean, clearly the woman he was with couldn’t handle the fury that is Mike. He wrote a letter telling her she wasn’t good enough, but Mike didn’t wanna be associated with such a lame break up strategy so he made his friend John do it.

Now everybody has been congratulating Jared on all the weight he lost thanks to Subway, but did you know Mike was actually supposed to be the spokesman? During the audition it got down to Jared and this guy named Mike, and Mike was nailing it, but then Jared freaking ate him. I mean, have you seen the before pictures? Jared was grotesque.